Are you midway through your career and wondering what direction to take it next? Or is some other looming decision driving you nuts because making difficult choices just seems too overwhelming?

Me, too! And I’m no stranger to making big changes. After an exciting, demanding and lucrative deal-making career I switched to a coaching career – teaching people how to master their own thinking in order to generate more success in their lives. Now I am expanding into speaking, writing and teaching online. I have so many irons in the fire and ideas swirl so fast that they actually clog my thinking and hold me back. Not helpful, brain!

In order to clear my own muddled mind, I like to use this framework to “test” each new idea that pops into my head and either pursue it, or trash it, quickly and without regret.

Here are my top 5 criteria for what to spend time pursuing:

1. People - I know that if I enjoy the people, I’ll enjoy the work. So I pursue ideas that place me with people who are thoughtful, creative, kind, prepared to take action, emotionally stable, interested in changing something, take responsibility, have a forward outlook, share truthfully, and want to make a difference in someone else’s life besides their own. What kind of people are your favorites? Focus on directions that place you amongst them.

2. Personal Power – Certain activities feed my creativity and ingenuity, two primary sources of my personal power. Where does your personal power come from? This is not about your power or authority over others, but your inner drive and fire. Pursue directions that provide energy, not those that sap it.

3. Profit - Profit takes many forms. Pursue directions that are lucrative, yes. But also those that bring you the profits of pleasure, intellectual stimulation, and outright joy. Jettison any thinking about directions that do not deliver an ample return on your investment – they are literally not worth it.

4. Passion – Following your passion is perhaps an overused phrase, but it does not necessarily mean drop everything and pursue your dreams of becoming an actress. I used to love creating deal spreadsheets – not because of the mental girations necessary to put the monster together, in fact I disliked that part! I loved it because it provided a tool to help solve a problem, to test and maneuver and reveal different angles and results. I love figuring out a solution that no one else has thought of – that’s a passion! And I still do that today – create new ways of thinking that help people find solutions to their own roadblocks, take charge of their future and learn to generate amazing new outcomes for themselves. What’s your passion? Pursue opportunities that allow you to experience it often.

5. Peace – Let’s face it: Everything involves some angst from time to time. But if something is troubling enough to keep you up at night however, you have two choices – either get more involved and fix it, or move away from it. Pursue directions that bring you peace, at least most of the time.

There you have it – 5 simple tests to guide your choices and clear a muddled mind about what directions to pursue. Try them for yourself!

photo credit Gustavo Facci

You’ve just been handed a “free” day, an extra day of your life, the first in four years. What should you do with it?

One thing is certain – you better decide RIGHT NOW, lest you spend the entire day making the decision how best to use it.

You could make it just like any other day. Get up, go to work, come home, watch some TV, go to bed. Day over.

Or… you could make the choice to use the Leap Day to take a LEAP!

Here are some LEAP suggestions to make this free day really count.

Work on something you absolutely hate. That’s right – just get it over with.

Work on something you absolutely love. Immerse yourself and see how great it feels.

Take the day off and do something completely out of the ordinary - go to the movies, to an art museum, or to the gym for the entire afternoon.

Call someone you’ve been thinking about.

Ask a burning question that you haven’t had the courage to ask.

Do someone an enormous favor or service.

Makeover something - your desk, your closet, your workshop.

Get started on a project.

Finish a project.

Plan something – a trip, a book, a conversation.

Investigate or learn something. Go to the library or get lost on Google really researching something you are interested in.

Now here’s the zinger. Did you know that you can make ANY day a LEAP day?

What if we all realized that EVERY day is a free day, a given day, an extra day that we can never count on? How would we change the way we spend the day?

Was 2011 a rough year for you? In my view, this year seemed like a fire-storm of never-ending bad news. War, floods, accidents, divorce, layoffs, foreclosures, disease, death. I personally know someone who was affected by each one of those calamities in 2011. Major, catastrophic, life-changing events. How then, do we put bad things behind us and carry on? I asked people affected by terrible misfortune, and here is their collective, insightful advice:

1. For immediate distraction, get lost in a lengthy book where the characters suffer great loss yet are redeemed in the end.
2. Start writing yourself, from letters to memoirs to fiction.
3. Physically hold another human being or a pet. Medical science has proven that physical contact is necessary for humans to thrive.
4. Don’t isolate yourself – find a group where you feel like you belong. Even if it’s just the morning Starbucks crowd!
5. Find a way to laugh every day. Watch funny movies, buy a book of New Yorker cartoons, or listen to a comedian on tape.
6. View tough times from a “bigger picture” perspective: Life is a journey, and ups and downs are an inevitable part of it.
7. After a loss, also consider what you have gained by the change. There is always a bright side.
8. Get involved with helping others who are even worse off than you.
9. Create! Get your right brain very, very active and it will quiet the left side that is busy staying focused on your problems.
10. Control the next change that occurs in your life. Intentionally do something you have always wanted to do; go somewhere you have always wanted to go; even changing the car that you drive can redirect your sense of being in control rather than becoming a victim of circumstances.

Thanks to the folks who contributed these great ideas for handling any kind of transition with some degree of grace. May 2012 bring better times for all. Wishing you peace, health, and prosperity in the New Year!

What’s the value of asking the right questions?

How about getting to the right answers???

“5o Questions That Will Change Your Life…          plus 5 That Will Save It”

is designed to help you find your own right answers.

To get your free copy, simply sign up to in the box to your right. Enjoy it with my compliments!

Whether or not you’re interested in the new “discover the next big American star” TV show X-Factor, the premise is fascinating. The show’s creators can’t even define what the X-Factor is. “We’ll know it when we see it” they say!

When you think about your favorite people, can you say what draws you to them? Is it the sparkle in his eye? Her shy smile? The way he makes only you laugh and no one else gets it? The way she listens so you know you’ve been heard and acknowledged?

Each of us has something unique and compelling about us that others notice and are drawn to — our very own X-Factor. What’s yours?

Once when a friend of mine was very down on herself, she asked me: Tell me five things you appreciate about me. I thought carefully, then gave her a list of what I considered to be her best traits as a friend. She looked astonished! I don’t think she had any idea up until that moment of the incredible pleasure I receive from her friendship. Her quick laugh, her intelligent conversational style, her fun-loving way of saying “Yes” to just about any activity, her sponge-like absorption of politics and current events, her love of the physical beauty of nature, her appreciation of art, the way she savors food in tiny bites, the way she’s there for me through thick and thin… OK, that’s more than five and I could go on!

All of these things point to my friend’s X-Factor — she is engaging. You cannot have a conversation with her, or hardly even be in the same room with her, without immediately becoming engaged. She finds common ground in a snap, you are entertained, and you learn something.

So what’s your X-factor? Try asking a good friend what they appreciate about you and find out.

Why should you care about your X-Factor? Because your unique and compelling quality is your core source of personal power. Whenever you are feeling down, or doubtful, or hopeless, or fearful, you can draw upon that core quality to lift yourself right out of the dangerous rabbit hole of negative emotions.

Discover your X-Factor and “Live the X” every day!